Larry Toothaker
David Ross Boyd Professor of Psychology
As a young married adult, I had inner conflict in my life. Even though I desired inner peace, it was not there. Trying to give direction to growing children brought this inner conflict to a focus. Like focussing a camera gives a sharp image, my family sharpened the conflict in my life.
Now, let me back up and explain. Growing up, I was no different than any other boy in America. I had two parents with middle income, three sisters, an average home, and a dog. I was a good student and relatively obedient. I had success in school and success as an athlete. I attended church and knew all of the basic teachings. Even though I had all these things, I remember having doubts about my own relationship with God.
College days brought even more success. I earned a Bachelors degree at the University of Nebraska, where I also competed as an athlete. I entered graduate school and earned a Masters degree and Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin. I got married and we had two children. I got a job as a professor at the University of Oklahoma. But my doubts did not decrease, in fact, they increased. I had achieved what many would call success, but I was not satisfied. Even though I attended church and worked in the church, doing my best, this did not meet my deep need for peace. All of this negatively influenced my family life.
I was at a large Christian rally and the speaker told us that it is possible to know for sure that you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The speaker said that we could know this beyond all doubt: that got my attention. He explained how each of us had rebelled against God and broken God's standards. He went on to explain that the penalty for this was separation from God. He said that each of us needed forgiveness. He said that Jesus had died to forgive me, and that Jesus was worthy of my trust. I could believe Jesus and that what He said was true. He said by trusting Him alone as my Savior, I could have forgiveness and peace. This was the first time that all my life and problems with lack of peace came into focus. That evening, I prayed and placed my trust in Christ alone as my Savior. I was convicted of my tremendous need for a Savior as I prayed to trust Him. I asked Him to come into my heart, to cleanse me from all my sin, and to make me His child.
Since that time, God had kept giving me peace about my relationship with Him. He has convinced me that I am His child. Now, our children are adults and have moved out of our home. But in my role as a parent when they were growing up, I was responsible for my children. When they were younger, our children received provision, protection, and direction from me. These are similar to benefits of being part of God's family. He directs me. He protects me. He provides for me. Now working in my church is an expression of thanks and commitment to Him. Church work is not just form and ritual. My family life is characterized by growing in love and understanding. Having a personal relationship with Jesus has become the center of my life, and He gives inner peace that I could not get from any other source.
If you have any questions or comments you can E-Mail me at LTOOTHAKER@OUPSY.PSY.OU.EDU