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Date: Tue, 12 Sep 1995 08:01:02 GMT
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Subject: A Guide to Social Newsgroups and Mailing Lists
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From: taylor@netcom.com (Dave Taylor)
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Approved: netannounce@deshaw.com (Mark Moraes)
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Archive-name: usenet/social-newsgroups/part1
Last-change: 15 Aug 1995 by taylor@netcom.com (Dave Taylor)
Changes-posted-to: news.misc,news.groups,news.answers

      A Brief Guide to Social Newsgroups and Mailing Lists

INTRODUCTION

The Usenet distributed conferencing system is a terrific way to meet 
new friends and engage in many interesting topics of conversation, but
people just joining our on-line community often have a difficult time 
figuring out which group is which and what groups they could join to 
find like-minded individuals.

To try to help this situation, this article is intended to be one of
a group of regularly posted articles that are given to new users to
aid you in deciding where you might have the best luck finding new 
electronic friends that share your interests both socially and sexually.

Disclaimer: some of what is said on Usenet might be offensive to you as
some of the groups discuss topics that are, well, a bit unusual.  
Fortunately it's easy to avoid this problem; don't read that group.  Also
please keep in mind that the more controversial the subject, the more
likely the group is awash in inane, unrelated discussion, partially
due to the nature of the Usenet community and partially perhaps due to 
how uncomfortable most people are with these subjects.

To reiterate this point, please do NOT join a group to find a forum for
arguing or demonstrating righteous indignation over a particular belief,
behavior, or desire.  Those discussions are almost always completely
inappropriate and the more controversial the subject, the more likely
the participants in a group are going to dislike judgemental postings.
Also, there is a good chance that you have misunderstood either the
offending article or the responses of other readers.  In other words,
you may well be alone in your indignation.

Finally, as with all groups on the Usenet, once you find one that 
seems of interest, please try to spend a week or two just reading
the group and learning how conversations proceed in that particular 
forum before you jump in.  It'll save you, and others, a lot of grief 
and unpleasantness.

THE GROUPS

alt.personals.*

   This hierarchy is devoted to ads from people who seek e-mail or
   in-person romantic or sexual relationships.  There are several
   subgroups and many people who post here do so using one of the anonymous
   posting/reply services. Try to include a descriptive subject line 
   (including your location), and some specific information about your 
   tastes, interests and hobbies.

alt.romance

   One of the nicest things about any relationship, be it the beginning of
   a courtship or years into a more serious commitment, are the little
   things that you do for each other, the romance.  If you're interested 
   in chatting with people about what is considered romantic, talking about
   a particular romantic thing that you've done, or even just reading 
   stories about what other folks have done to 'be romantic' or 'have a 
   romantic liaison', then this is the group.

alt.sex

   What's a relationship without sex?  For that matter, how many of us
   would be around without our parents having had sex?  This group is one of
   the most controversial on the net, not surprisingly, and while the
   actual number of articles that discuss sex or sexuality is distressingly
   low, the group is still an interesting place to find the occasional
   horror story of a sexual rendezvous gone bad, to read debates about
   what type of birth control (or condom) is best, or even to read some
   surprisingly revealing details about the sex lives of people on the net.

alt.sex.bestiality

   While bestiality refers to engaging in sexual activity with an animal, 
   the articles in this group seem to talk about everything but that.

alt.sex.intergen 

    Discussion group for intergenerational relationships, including
    "May/December relationships" (relationships between
    adults in two different parts of their lives, 20 and 45 years old for
    example), as well as discussion on "ephebophilia" (relationships between
    adults and teenagers) and "pedophilia" or "paedophilia" (relationships
    between teenagers or adults and pre-pubescent children).  The level of
    mature discussion (discourse) on alt.sex.intergen tends to be rather
    high, and those that read and/or participate in the discussions would
    like to keep it that way :-)

alt.sex.bondage

   The best spin-off discussion from alt.sex, this group has a higher level 
   of interesting articles, which talk about bondage and related topics, 
   ranging from the psychology of being confined by another during sexual 
   play to the mechanics of different bondage devices.  It also occasionally
   delves into sadism and masochism, so as with any other group, if you don't
   like what you're reading, be prepared to unsubscribe.

rec.arts.erotica

   A moderated group with long, but infrequent articles, rec.arts.erotica 
   is the main focus for erotica and pornography, depending on your
   standards.  Most are explicit, and some demonstrate a surprising writing 
   ability, but many also seem rather sleazy and variously demeaning.  Just 
   like reading the Letters to Penthouse, it's a mixed bag as to whether any 
   of it will be exciting or erotic to you.

soc.couples

   Being in a short or long term relationship offers much in the way of 
   joy, pleasure, and emotional satisfaction, but it also offers the 
   chance for major arguments and other problems.  This group is where
   you can talk about a relationship you're in with others that are also
   in relationships of their own.

soc.feminism

   Soc.feminism is a moderated newsgroup for the discussion of feminist
   issues.  Both men and women are encouraged to post to it and discussion
   is not limited to the pro-feminist viewpoint.

   This group differs from soc.women in that moderation keeps out the
   flames and inappropriate cross-posts.  In addition, there are several
   subjects appropriate for soc.women but not soc.feminism (e.g.  the
   sporadic "where do I find comfortable shoes?"  discussion that turns up
   in soc.women or discussions of women's health, other than policy issues 
   related to it).

soc.men

   This group discusses similar issues to soc.women, but from the 
   male perspective.  Topics include equal rights, child support,
   custody of children, relationships and so on.  In addition, there
   are often topics which tend to be specific to men including shaving 
   in the shower, post-workout skin care, and similar.  Both men and women 
   are active participants in this group.

soc.motss

   While the Usenet community is pretty open minded, many of the
   aforementioned social groups tend to be populated primarily by
   the heterosexual community. Soc.motss (Members of the Same Sex) is 
   a forum where the concerns and lifestyles of lesbians, gays, and 
   bisexuals may be discussed, including conversation about relationships, 
   dating, travel, and the like. Discussion of the validity or 
   appropriateness of homosexuality is inappropriate, however, and will 
   not be appreciated.

soc.penpals

   Is your mailbox empty?  Look here to find other people who want to
   exchange e-mail.  There are also ads from people who want to find
   snail-mail penpals, too.

soc.singles

   Of all the things that people seem to have in common, perhaps the most
   common thread of all is the bouts of being single, and the hunting and 
   searching for relationships that this implies.  This group is a forum 
   for all discussions even vaguely related to either being single or the 
   quest for a relationship.  Indeed, it has been likened to an electronic 
   cocktail party, where people have known each other (electronically, 
   usually) for years.  There are also a number of people in relationships 
   that share their thoughts, as well as a high level of aggression between 
   some of the contributors.

   Like many of the soc.* groups, soc.singles is not an appropriate place to 
   post penpal requests or personal ads: try soc.penpals or alt.personals.*

soc.women

   Soc.women is an unmoderated group that discusses similar issues to 
   soc.men, but from the female perspective.  Topics include equal rights, 
   child support, custody of children, relationships and so on.  In addition, 
   there are often topics that tend to be specific to women including shaving 
   legs, finding comfortable shoes, and so on.  Both men and women are active 
   participants in this group.

OTHER PLACES TO LOOK

In addition to these Usenet groups, there are many other forums on 
Usenet where you can make new friends and share conversations about 
topics of interest to yourself.  Among them are the many "soc.culture" 
groups for specific ethnic/geographic cultures, the "soc.religion" and 
"talk.religion" groups for those interested in meeting friends of a 
specific religious background, the "rec.*" groups oriented about a 
specific recreational activity and many more.  

Also, there are a number of different private mailing lists for specific 
sexual and social orientations, including:

  bears
      Contact: bears-request@spdcc.COM (Steve Dyer & Brian Gollum)
               ...!{harvard,ima,linus,mirror}!spdcc!bears-request

      Purpose: Mail.bears is a mailing list in digest format for gay
      and bisexual men who are bears themselves and for those who enjoy
      the company of bears.  The exact definition of a "bear" seems to
      be a personal one, but it encompasses men who are variously cuddly,
      furry, perhaps stocky, or bearded.  Mail.bears is designed to be a
      forum to bring together folks with similar interests for conversation,
      friendship and sharing of experiences.  The tone of mail.bears
      will be determined by its members, but people uncomfortable with
      discussing sexually explicit topics via electronic mail should
      not subscribe.

  cdforum
      Contact: cd-request@TheRev.LosAlamos.NM.US (Sharon M. Laws)

      Purpose: To provide support/discuss/share experiences about gender
      related issues; Crossdressing, Transvestism, Transsexualism, etc.
      This list is in Digest Format.

  feminists
      Contact: femail@hpldlh.hpl.hp.com (Patricia Collins)

      Purpose: The feminist mailing list is intended to provide a forum
      for discussion of issues of interest to women, in a friendly
      atmosphere. The basic tenets of feminism and the day-to-day
      experiences of women do not have to be explained or defended.  Men
      and women can join, but everyone requesting to be added to the
      mailing list MUST provide the moderator with: 1) a full name; 2) a
      complete uucp path to a well-known host or a fully specified
      Internet address; 3) the correspondent's gender (for records and
      statistics only).  NO exceptions.

  men
      Contact: attunix!mail-men-request
	       mail-men-request@usl.com (Marcel Franck Simon)

      Purpose: This digested mailing list discusses "men's issues."
      Both women and men may join. Mail-men is a place where men and
      women can discuss men's issues in an atmosphere of openness and
      support. Men's issues are those problems and experiences that
      affect male humans.

  sappho
      Contact:  sappho-request@silver.lcs.mit.edu
		zonker@silver.lcs.mit.edu (Regis)

      Purpose: A forum and support group for gay and bisexual women.
      The list is not moderated, but may become so if the volume and/or
      content begins to warrant it.  A digest version is available; if
      you want it, be sure to mention it in your addition request.  Men
      who want to "listen in," for whatever reason, are requested to use
      the feminist and alternates mailing lists instead; sappho
      membership is limited to women.

  spanking
       Contact:  craftman@iglou.com

      Purpose:  The SPANKING E-MAIL LIST is for the exchange of
      stories, articles, letters, rememberances and comments on and
      about erotic spanking.  The list is mailed out once a week.  
      In addition, there is a personals section at the end of the 
      mailing for those who wish to post.  Posting is not required, 
      but is strongly encouraged to keep the list going. Membership 
      list is private.

SUMMARY

Please use this list of Usenet groups and mailing lists as one of the many 
signposts to help you find the groups that you'll be interested in.  One 
other terrific place to find more information is by asking your friends on 
the net what groups they read too!

Changes, corrections, additions, or other requests for information
related to this posting should be sent to:   taylor@netcom.com